The next day marked our last full day in Vegas. I was feeling nostalgic already, we had breakfast in our hotel to avoid the hunger pains we suffered the earlier day for waiting to eat at Mon Amie Gabby again. We resolved to actually get some shopping done today, we had only gone to the magic shop and LUSH so far. We made our way to Caesar’s Palace and enjoyed the sights before going to the Venetian.

I was pleasantly surprised by the Venetian, I expected it to be over the top but it actually reminded me of my last summer there in Venice.

Gondolas!

It was our last day, so we continued to wander about the beautiful Venetian and enjoy the fact that European decor includes decorated, and/or painted ceilings.  Why can we not bring this into the US?!? We’re ignoring a whole new canvas of design here!

We ate a sustainable but unremarkable lunch at a little Italian joint in the hotel, and then Camille was stricken with a burning passion for dessert-specifically, Carlo’s Bakery dessert.  I complained that I was already completely full, but she said along the lines of, “…Cake Boss…you don’t have to buy anything…” and I was sold.  I wasn’t quite sure what Cake Boss was.

The line was extraordinarily long, but we were allowed a look into the baking process through a clear window into the kitchen, which served as highly entertaining and another thing to take pictures of.  Enjoy!

The result for me was a relatively decent strawberry chocolate mousse cake, and a pastry I saved for later (and would eventually eat in Dallas, starved and unhappily awaiting my luggage on a bench looking like a homeless person). Camille may or may have not purchased over $40 worth of pastries.

We made our way then back to the hotel, to briefly nap and dress for the show at the Excalibur that night. Our travel agent had booked the tickets, however it was under her credit card and without the ability to produce it, we were out our tickets. The travel agent very nicely sent us $140 of her own money to compensate for the loss, and so we went shopping of course!

I bought a couple of good things, and tried on a faux white fur jacket that made me look like a rapper’s girlfriend, but alas the picture did not survive the trip back to Texas. Too bad, I could’ve convinced my students I was dating someone famous. That’s how it works, right?

We then went to the Titanic Exhibition, which was very emotional and raw. Upon entering we were handed a ticket each, with a name and a brief description of the person, and were told to look for our person on the wall of those who survived/did not survive at the end.

Not only were there replicas of the quarters for each class of passenger, but the famous staircase we all know well from the Titanic film. There was also a model deck for us to go on, surrounded by darkness and fake stars. I bumped into Camille like a drunk person and fought my way to the next door-all to recreate the reality of the event of course.

There, in the next room was a small iceberg, with hand prints melted into the sides, for you to actually feel whether you would last in the icy waters of the Atlantic that night. Camille and I quickly grasped, we would have died rather quickly of hypothermia. Brrr!

The actual piece of the Titanic was the most fascinating, considering it was an actual part of the ship that people had to go to so much trouble just to get out of the sea floor. I was determined to touch it, rope railing be damned! Camille was certain I was going to get the both of us arrested so I gave up the not-so-casual leaning over the rope.

We got to pose with the replica staircase! Isn’t that from a movie…?

We went on to Dick’s Last Resort, where the waiters are supposed to make fun of you and be bitingly sarcastic. Our waitress barely managed writing a mean name on our ticket, that’s about the extent of attention paid to us. We were sat next to an interesting couple; the wife had been sitting on her husband’s lap when we were seated. Once we sat down the wife came over to chat, her husband apologized and said it was her birthday. They were very entertaining, they told us about their jobs as masseuses and their leisure time they spend traveling. They wanted me to add their son on Facebook, he was very cute, and cooks, they had assured me.  I agreed he was cute, but once again, not in Texas. They were very flattering with their life advice:

“What’s there to think about? You’re beautiful!”

Why thank you!

With a giant green margarita cup in hand, from Dick’s Last Resort we made our way back to our hotel, taking the tram as a cheap alternative to our usual taxi cab. We exited the tram and saw ahead a group of Marines dressed in full formal uniform, medals and all. I may have said “wow,” to my great embarrassment. They stopped and one of them complimented me on my hair.  Why thank you kind sir, I had just been insulted yesterday, I appreciate it! While we made small talk my thoughtful and wonderful sister in law saw the opportunity and blurted out-

“Someone needs to kiss my sister!”

“Right now?” They asked.

“Right now!”

They all started leaning in, “just one” Camille laughed. I went for my complimentary gentleman and gave him a peck. My civic duty right? Then my embarrassment took over and I mumbled, “thanks!” We made our escape, and got back to our hotel room unable to believe our brazenness.

Then I remembered why I don’t kiss casually, because as Cece from New Girl can attest:

“Cece: You don’t have one-night stands—you get way too attached. I mean, you could have an emotional connection with a shoe on the side of the road.

Jess: Oh, one shoe? I hate that.”

I wanted to go back out and join our cute Marines and have one last fun night, but joining other interesting people like I did when I was in Europe. We zipped back to the tram, just as the door were shutting. We saw the Marines inside, they had come back for us to! We all reached dramatically back at each other, and the tram pulled them away. Come back Marines!

It wasn’t to be however; just when the tram pulled away Camille got a call about our flight the next day, not at three in the afternoon, but at ten in the morning. That did not sound like we could enjoy anymore late night activities. Goodnight Marines, it was fun!

We made our way back to our room, found a random tiny ketchup bottle in the hotel that someone had left behind that Camille got way too excited about and had to claim, and collapsed into our beds with glittery clothes thrown about the room, and fell fast asleep. Five hours of sleep, no big deal! The next morning we stumbled around not unlike the zombies in the Thriller music video, getting presentable so we would not look hideous on the plane, and seeing how much we could stuff into our bags, knowing full well we had bought too much. We had to leave our Eiffel Tower cup behind, RIP Eiffel Tower cup! You brought such classiness to a simple drink!

We took a very expensive taxi cab to the airport with the driver trying to persuade us to take a more expensive route with us insisting on another one, making it just a bit cheaper. I got a warm holiday Starbucks drink to ease my sniffles and we got on the plane, with me chewing furiously at my aspartame free gum. I don’t know why it’s always so miserable for me to fly, but my ears sometimes refuse to pop and leave me feeling like my head is going to explode.

We finally made it to Dallas, where we had to sit for about half an hour with the same lone five suitcases making their rounds in the baggage claim. It had been too long since we’d eaten, so I mournfully at my last Carlo’s Bakery treat; it was cold, but delicious and we looked exhausted, homeless, and lost sitting there. Finally our luggage made it out and we picked up our bulging bags and left, my brother picked us up twenty minutes later and we were on our way home.

It was definitely worth the mere $200 I spent to go on this trip, I can’t help but feel like I missed out on the “What Happens in Vegas” feeling though, where is my random husband? Maybe next time, for now it was a great experience with my long suffering and wonderful sister in law. Thanks Camille, and thanks Vegas, it was a blast!

Crimes committed while in Vegas: Jaywalking along with huge crowds of other people, skipping the taxi line and stealing one (multiple times), excessive drinking, loitering, public intoxication, public indecency with statues, and public indecency with a crowd of Marines (while in uniform).

The above is a joke. If you are offended remember that school teachers lead very boring lives and it’s fun to joke.