Last Days in Greece

Maria and I had our early morning flight back to Athens, completely sleep deprived and clutching cups of coffee as our lifeline that would see us through the day. Once at the airport we took the train to our old Athens hotel. Once there, we had a continuation of the same issue last time- they refused to allow our travel agent pay for our hotel. Maria and I resigned ourselves to a phone charge before I gave in and let them charge my card…no matter that I had already paid my travel agent the money. They wouldn’t take my Discover card, saying that their machine didn’t take it. I pointed to the receipt from last time that said otherwise, but their inability to be accommodating had them politely refusing to allow any respone but “no” now. I bite my tongue and paid with my Visa.

We fell asleep and woke up in time to go out to eat dinner, like real Millenials. Our late nights of partying with Greek gentlemen were coming back to haunt us, “Remember me?” We decided to eat dinner on the rooftop of our hotel, which had an incredible view of the Parthenon, alight with bright lights and glowing in the surrounding darkness, high in the mountain. There wasn’t a better sight in this city. Despite the frequent injustice of paying for water, it was another truly amazing night in Greece.

My photo was terrible, so I enjoy this stolen but properly cited one:

Parthenoni.

We spent the night enjoying the view, paying entirely too much for WATER, and enjoying our meal. Since our sleep schedule was off, we headed to the room and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding on Youtube. It made so much more sense after being in Greece ourselves, moussaka, everyone being named Nico, the list went on. We finally fell asleep, to have one last day in Greece. ONLY ONE!

The next morning we were in a mad rush to be on time to the train station to go on a tour of the beautiful city we had neglected the first night we had been in Athens and the previous night before when we had chosen sleep over sights. Alas, it was not to be. We missed out train, close enough to see the doors shut and it starting to pull away. No doubt saying lots of colorful and child-appropriate words, I decided we would catch up with the tour group and join late. Maria was game, and we waited quite impatiently for the next train.

We arrived in time to watch the tour group begin to walk to the Tomb of the Unknown soldier, a rather unpleasant-seeming woman leading them all. She refused to let us join, said we were supposed to pay online and not in person (um, where? The pamphlet had not mentioned a website.) Feeling defeated, we walked away, wondering how on Earth we would see this historic, magnificent city now.

Onto the rescue, was a young woman handing out pamphlets for the Red Bus every major city seems to have. She offered it cheaper than the other woman (who had denied us anyway, but it was ok, we were in a better place now and deserved someone better) because I was a teacher. Not only would we be getting transportation around the city on a very hot day, but we would get a free tour that would be starting in an hour! Lucky us!

Before we left we observed the changing of the guard. I always find such dedication to duty impressive and patriotic, I wished I had joined the Navy or found a way to serve my country that way. Instead, I’ll continue dealing with the snotty teenagers and forcibly educating them. “You WILL love to read!”

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Interesting costumes, eh?

The bus that might as well have been a luxury limo with a sunroof, led us through downtown Athens that we had barely squinted at when driving on a scooter through throngs of cars. We glimpsed the magnificent museum holding centuries of artifacts and history, statues of famous Greek actresses, government buildings, ancient houses, busy fish markets (those are still a thing?). We passed churches, the Temple of Zeus (of which I have a terrible picture, with those damn telephone lines obstructing our view), and Hadrian’s Arch.

Onto our tour!

Unfortunately, not enough people turned up for our tour, so we sat with the tour guide, an enigmatic man with a hooked nose and of course, glasses. You couldn’t have a Ph.D. without them, right? He hopped up when the clock hit the prescribed number, and began talking about the history of the region, and led us on a walk, talking all the while and giving me vivid flashbacks to my beloved History classes at UT Tyler. At one point, reaching the site of an ancient place of gathering and voting of the Greeks, the first democracy, I lost my breath.  He pointed out Alexander the Great had stood at this spot. I made a shocked, yet thrilled groan of excitement, and Maria shot me some side eye and said, “calm yourself,” and “are you having an intellectual moment over there?”

As our Intellectually Sexy tour guide pointed out, most tourists never come to this location, unaware of the significance it holds. If one were going to visit Athens, they must visit the Pnyx, and stand on that hill overlooking the city, surrounded by the dust and dirt of so many ages, the same dust that was between the toes of those early Greek voters. Bits of pottery littered the ground, one from each age in Greee. Our tour guide picked a few up and told us what millenium they were from, before discarding them into the dirt again.

From there our I.S. Tour Guide took us by a church, pointing out the pagan and Christian symbols that had merged on the outside, how one world had merged with the next. He took us to a ancient side people used to believe was the prison of Socrates before he was forced to commit suicide. It was actually an ancient fertility site, Philopappos Monument on Philopappos Hill. He gave us a great image of women coming there at night and howling like wolves, and drinking the water form the natural spring inside, supposedly granting them fertility.

From that tour we said goodbye to I.S. Tour Guide and hopped on a Red Bus headed to the History Museum. We only allowed ourselves two hours before we left, to make sure we could still make Acropolis. The sun was lower, and the light was incredible as we headed up the steps to the top of the hill.

The area was covered with a blanket of fellow tourists, traveling for hundreds of miles to see the Parthenon, sadly damaged by the Ottomon Turks in the Great Turkish War against the Venetians. It is still a magnificent sight to see, and I’m very glad to have been able to travel there.

Upon our return to the hotel, we got ice cream, which I don’t remember getting but the picture I have of us eating it and the relief from the heat we got. We felt our trip had been one of the better ones, and I would be sad to leave Greece.

The next morning, we tried to go swimming one last time (every time we had tried the water had been too cold despite the heat of the day continuing) and were disappointed one last time.

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We packed up our luggage and ate one last lunch, before heading out of our hotel. We took the train to the airport, the same as we had gotten from it before, but this time, the train was late, and stopped before the last stop, so we had to book it to the airport (and me with my luggage handle that refused to come out). We almost didn’t make it in time. We rushed through the airport, dodging people stupidly standing in the middle of the walkway chatting and oblivious to traffic, and made it to the gate in time. My luggage was flagged, so they searched it, making a mess of my clothes and making me worry we were going to miss our flight. Each flight attendant was disconcerted with my red, sweaty face, and told me everything was fine. Yet, when we reached our terminal, the flight just started boarding. We very well could have missed it.

The flight back wouldn’t end, stretching on in an impossible length of time. Two little, blonde, and friendly Canadian boys were seated to the right of us, both named respectively Leo and Alex. Now we had children to distract us instead of a couple obsessed with cheese. The boys laughed at the lines of caution from the flight attenants, reminders of exit doors in the front and in the rear. “In the rear,” they sniggered. “Are we in Toronto yet?” No, their father answered, they were in Munich. The boys were entertaining with their commentary and the little French phrases they would say. I was sad to see them go once we got to the Toronto Airport.

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Of course Maria and I had to eat at a truly Canadian joint once there, Tim Horton’s y’all! Maria texted Trey and begged him to clean his car seats of the perpetual dog hair before coming to pick us up. We got on our last flight and reached the US. Once there we had to go through customs, and when an Asian woman asked me to help her check in on the machines, I walked her through some of it. After another asked, I had to hurry and check in myself before I was mistaken for a worker.

When we finally stumbled out of the airport in Dallas, there was Trey waiting for us. I slept on the way back and woke up to find us in the Walmart parking lot. We went inside for basic provisions, and were greatly embarrassed to be seen with Trey because he insisted on driving a cart around the store.

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Five minutes later, we were at Maria’s apartment, and I fell fast asleep, grateful for the journey, but glad to be back in the good ol’ US of A.

i. Michael, Dr. “Parthenon at night.” Pixdaus, Pixdaus Ltd, pixdaus.com/parthenon-at-night-by-dr-michael-architecture/items/view/163701/. Accessed 19 June 2017.

 

 

The Eden of Greece

The next morning, we woke to our alarms and reluctantly dragged ourselves out of bed. We got some breakfast as a nearby restaurant, which had a beautiful view of the ocean. Our cook ended up seeing us there for supper later that night, prompting a question as to their hours. It turns out in the tourist season these “lazy” Greek workers work over or around twelve hours a day! And people want to blame the economy on them.

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Kalimera!

Our breakfast was a strange egg, tomato, and greasy bacon sandwich. It was a bit filling for first thing in the morning, and my hands looked like they had ripped personally into the pig itself, with the grease and red tomato juice dripping down my fingers, but quite good!

Teacup pigi

Aaaand I may never eat bacon again, now thinking of Barney’s teacup piglet.

We made the switch over to our new hotel, and very grateful to do so. The elderly man at the last hotel insisted on making a copy of my passport to hold onto, and when we came back from the club, offered us a nightcap. While there’s nothing wrong with sharing a drink, he gave us a rather creepy vibe.

Already at the front desk, looking perfect and well rested was Hot Niko. Maria and I felt none the worse for our night out, but still, getting an average 3-6 hours of sleep every night was having its effect on us. Who knew how these underpaid, suave and beautiful Europeans did it?

We asked Niko for advice on how to get the most out of our time here. We showed him the map we were given, and in his posh accent he said, “Well, here you have Knossos Palace, but you are young, you would not be interested, so, you want to go to-”

“I’m interested.” I said quickly, confused by the generalization. He looked bemused. “I was a History major.”

“Yeah, she’s weird.” Maria said. “So how do we get there?”

Niko laughed with Maria, smiling a perfect white smile as he did so. I ignored both of them, feeling a superiority associated with the rampant oppressive anti-intellectualism I experience as a geek.

We took a couple of buses to get to the palace, in the adjacent town, after stopping at a tourism shop and purchasing tickets to Santorini for the next day, at only 75 euros, including bus, the ferry, and bus tour. We were impressed with ourselves for making a good deal with Maria bringing up another tourism shop had offered it for a cheaper price. The woman accordingly lowered it, and Maria later expressed regret she had not said the price was even lower.

Onto the palace!

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The famous bull horns, a symbol of the Minoan Empire

While in an enormously long line waiting to get into the palace, Maria and I spoke about how disappointing our East Texas town was for dating. It was difficult to find someone your age who was eligible, employed, and not “good-naturedly racist.” Two girls ahead of us in line turned around and spoke to us in their beautiful European accents, asking who these men were, were they Israeli, and did they hit on us last night?

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Ancient artwork replications, the originals are in the museum.

These two, statuesque women proceeded to tell us how two men had been hitting on them last night, only to find that yes, they really were not going to sleep with them, and they parted ways after being disgustingly narcissistic. That morning, one had been texting them to ask if they were going to meet up at their hotel. The man called her another name, and they realized they had met two new girls that night, and were trying to hit them up accidentally. The girls played along, and got the men to come into their hotel lobby. The men looked around, saw them, got flustered but said hello anyway. They left, texting “where are you?” and the girls sent them a reply “oh, we went to your hotel, mistake!” They viewed it as a victory for women with standards.

Their adventure led to a conversation with us, and though the men we were referring to were in East Texas, where they would live forever with people who thought like them, dressed, ate, looked, and talked like them, we decided to travel through the palace together. We joined an English speaking tour that cost 40 euros, and deeply regretted it. The woman’s English was not all that good, and she used many words that were in fact not even English, leaving us rather confused and feeling cheated. Thankfully the two ladies, who were from Romania and very educated, had both studied architecture and could tell Maria and I about the ancient ruin regardless of our subpar tour guide.

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Maria in the throne room, a spectator to all the political going-ons in the kingdom

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The actual throne of King Minos! Mind if I sit here…?

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This palace had three stories! And the queen had her own room. Hmm…problems in that marriage?

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Making memories in ancient places!

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The famous red bull depiction

We ended the tour recounting our histories in learning Greek myths, near the exit, sitting on a bench and staring at that ancient road. This had me wondering how many countless souls had ridden in, selling their wares or visiting the palace, over the centuries. Such a place of magnitude and history. I couldn’t believe the impact this place had on the Greek mythology ideas and even leading to the English word clue from the yarn Theseus apparently used to retrace his way out of the Labyrinth. ii Not only did this influence a way we tell adventure stories (involving a maze or intricate problem for the hero to find their way out of, i.e. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) but depictions of even the original story exist and continue to be made today. That’s just the story legacy, the memory imprint that is made in the modern mind.

Our Romanian friends Cerasela and Iulia joined us in walking down through the city to the shore. We discovered an ancient ship dock that predated their modern one, and found a relatively empty restaurant to have dinner. We compared cultures, spoke of the Communist regime of Romania (of which I had been ignorant) and its effect on their families, Donald Trump (because Donald Trump), churches, womanhood, relationships, and then some more Donald Trump. It’s not just that every European is dying to know why Americans seem to love Donald Trump, it’s just so much fun to dislike that man and everything he represents…bigotry, white supremacy, xenophobia, sexism and basically an encompassing hatred for all those not exactly like him.

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Don’t want to be closed-minded? Travel and meet people different than you!

We got a bus back to our towns together, and got a picture with the help of a friendly lady working the little cute station. We said our goodbyes, and took down names for later contact. They had been very interesting and intelligent traveling companions.

Maria and I made it back to our hotel, briefly considered swimming, but our night jaunt outside found the water entirely too cold for our taste. We got ready for bed, only to have her movie star handsome friend Nasos come over to hang out and talk. I call him that because he looks like Josh Duhamel. He admonished me for not contacting his friend, I had seen a girl in his profile picture and thought it was better to not hang out with them again. He assured me it wasn’t like that, and I got to ask him what it was like for young people in Greece with the economy so low. He informed me of his salary he made as a physical therapist (lower than my meager teacher salary in a small town in East Texas) and that he was forced to instead to work at his father’s business. He told us excitedly at one point, that his sister would soon have a baby.

“I’m going to be an aunt!” Nasos said with such genuine excitement, Maria and I forgot our manners and howled with laughter.

“You mean uncle.” I snorted. We apologized, and told him truthfully any other case we wouldn’t have laughed, but for his excitement made it such a funny moment.

I showed him SNL’s Greek God sketch for a laugh, and we parted, Maria and I gratefully sinking into our comfortable beds, knowing we would have to wake very early for our bus to Santorini, a place Maria had been wanting to see more than life itself…

Santorini!

I thought Maria would suffer a heart attack and die on me if she did not see the beautifully smooth blue rooftops and white buildings of Santorini. We woke early, and managed to grab a quick bite as they were setting up for breakfast. Rushing through and picking up some bread and quickly sipping an espresso before running to the bus stop, we sat waiting about thirty minutes for our bus.

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Up with the sun, to a deserted beach!

Our bus took us to the ferry, where I instantly connected to the Wi-Fi and started taking a nap listening to Twenty One Pilots on Spotify. Maria had to close her eyes on planes and boats so as not to get nauseous, and I had a little too much fun teasing her for it. I was paying for it now.

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Maria was in hog heaven. 

Once we arrived, our bus took up the mountain in a very steep, sharp turning road that had me wanting to close my eyes, but like a bad soap opera, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. The streets were so crammed with people that we moved like cars in Austin morning traffic. Some people squeezed through with luggage, snapping irritably at people who elbowed them out of the way. I thought one older woman and a man were going to start fighting over him blocking her way until she shoved by using the luggage as a battering ram. Tourism sightseeing at its best!

Maria and I were both getting hungry, and quickly becoming irritated and frustrated with the other pushy tourists. We couldn’t stop anywhere to look at anything without people standing too close to you and pushing you along, when you definitely don’t want to go anywhere.

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“…Don’t stand, don’t stand so close to me…”

Finally I had had enough, and told Maria we should eat something before we started choking someone. We fought against the crowd, bought some sandwiches. We were eating them outside the restaurant, but soon started choking on the revolting cigarette smoke people kept blowing in our faces. It was unpleasant, trying to enjoy your bite of sandwich when, along with the taste of tomato, cheese, and turkey, you got a breath full of nauseating smoke. We took our leave of the restaurant, and brought what was left of our food to a square with a good view of the water.

Finally in a place without fellow tourists bumping elbows with you, Maria and I got some good pictures, and soaked in the scene. Taking slow, relaxed bites of my sandwich, I looked over the square. Foreigners selling their wares and demonstrating their toys to the passing children, being dragged along by their parents, with the Greek gentleman playing his guitar next to an old and magnificent in appearance church, and the sound of his music and the water was soothing my ears.

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A passing tourist couple took our photo for us. I trusted they wouldn’t run off with my phone.

From this stop, we were taken to the next town by the bus, and left near Black Beach. Maria and I were excited at finally being able to get in the water after being disappointed last night. However, upon changing into our suits, we discovered that the beach was inhabitable to human beings. The ‘black’ part of the beach described the small, sharp stones that littered the ground instead of being mostly sand. Under the crystal blue water, with the water itself being clean, below were slippery, sharp stones that kept the area shallow and not fun in the least. We ended up sunning ourselves and drinking local beer, and with me reading some on my phone.

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Why are all these people still trying to get into the water? Are their feet made of stone?

We were quite happy when the time came to make our way to the bus stop, at the old abandoned hospital. (You don’t need those on an isolated island, right?) We had a hard time finding it, and when I decided to risk looking stupid to the locals, I asked a preppy couple sitting on a nearby brick wall.

“You need directions?” He laughed at me.

“Never mind then.” I said, taken aback at his rudeness.

His boyfriend gave him a look, and he changed his mind. “Wait, the hospital is that way.”

“Thanks a lot.” I said, wanting to go into Teacher Mode and threaten him with going to speak to his mother. Maybe next time.

We made it to the bus stop with time to spare, and took the ferry back. The view was incredible coming back down the mountain.

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Our ferry waiting for us

We returned to our hotel, and decided we weren’t going to let the sexist treatment we had received last night keep us from renting a scooter. Our ride through Athens was still sticking into our heads, so we stopped by to rent one. The man was decidingly against letting us rent a scooter.

“Have you ever driven a scooter before?” He asked suspiciously.

“No, I’ve driven a mini motorcycle, pretty similar.”

“No, is no good. If I give you scooter, you drive, you crash, you break face, you break arm, is no good. I give you four wheeler.”

Um…thanks…?

He charged us full price for the day, despite the fact we were taking it for two hours instead of twelve, and tacked on fifteen euros more “for gas.” I was really not enjoying the “extra” charges we were accruing due to being young single women in a foreign country. Maria and I took turns driving it down the main street, and ended up in another frustrating situation with a male. A guy came over, turned off our engine without asking, and tried to get us to go to his restaurant. After we refused him, we had to call him back to help us turn it back on. I was getting really frustrated with the men of this country.

I momentarily lost us down a highway that seemed promising at first, but ended up going into another town. Thankfully Maria realized this, and we turned around before going to too far.We were faced with the issue of what we were going to do now, turn the four wheeler in early or go eat? We ended up using it for little more than an hour, and were decidingly more broke from the experience, having used all of our cash.

We returned the four wheeler to our misogynistic “friend”, and grabbed dinner at a nearby place. Because Maria detests cats, all the homeless cats in the area managed to find her and try to woo her over.

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Needless to say, it was not working. But I finally got Maria to split a meal with me!

After we had dinner,  our friends Nasos and Panagiotis wanted to take us out, and I’ve never been one to refuse a drink. We stopped at a Irish pub, and I of course got a car bomb. The guys were quiet for the most part, interjecting at times that sitting at the table with us was like “being in an American movie,” while we were wanting them to talk more to hear their beautiful Greek accents. Glad to give you a new experience!

After drinks they took us to a Greek club (finally! Greek music after listening to lame American songs we can hear anytime!) and we all danced, not oblivious to the weirdly fixated stares of older Greek men sitting at the bar with a lot of free time on their hands. We stayed up far too late, but enjoyed walking around at this hour much more when we were with males, because they kept the hawkers from touching us.

I asked Nasos why he had his cat in almost all of his Facebook photos (Maria once again hates cats, and this did not bode well for them), and he questioned why that was strange. I told him cat ownership/obsession is mostly associated with girls in the US. The “crazy cat ladies.”

Nasos started preforming for us, talking about his cats and holding his hands out dramatically.

“What are you doing?” We laughed.

“The reason is I am the cat crazy aunt.” He said, smiling at us. “The gay cat crazy aunt, I like the women!” We laughed sheepishly. He wasn’t very secure in his English, we should’ve been more considerate.

Panagiotis and I walked around the pier, stopped for pizza, and didn’t get back to our hotel until 5 am. Maria and I had to leave at six am to get to our flight on time, so the guys hung out with us for a bit more so they could talk to our cabbie and make sure we weren’t scammed again. Maria and I realized then that we were out of cash, and forgotten to get more. Thankfully Nasos covered us, and made sure the cabbie didn’t take a longer route. They were modern Greek heroes, and we were quite grateful we didn’t end up making it a close call.

Goodbye Crete, thank you for the memories! Back to Athens and our snooty hotel.

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Summary

  1. People in Greece don’t need sleep to function.
  2. You can’t visit Greece without going to Santorini.
  3. Somehow riding a donkey is important too.
  4. European beaches are not for swimming, they are for showing off your body.
  5. Sand can be quite painful when it’s surrounded by millions of sharp rocks.
  6. Don’t go barefoot to Black Beach on Santorini.
  7. If you ride a scooter, you can “break your face.”
  8. Cats play hard to get.
  9. Cigarette smoke goes with everything in Europe.
  10. There are still Greek heroes.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

i. Credit to How I Met Your Mother.

ii. “The Origin of “Clue”.” A Way with Words. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Sept. 2016.

Deeply Traumatized, a Grecian tale

On our first morning of actually waking up in Greece, it was rocky. First off, we had to wake up at 7 am so we could eat breakfast and get an early start on the day since we were supposed to travel to Delphi to stay that night. Second, we were paying the price of enjoying seemingly unlimited wine the night before. Thirdly, we hadn’t had much sleep since starting to travel there. All caught up!
Once again struggling with a very heavy suitcase, the handle still stuck inside the bag, we made our way to the bus station, taking a quick taxi there. The bus station was a bit grungy looking in a rather ghetto part of the city, once having made it inside, we spoke to a local at ticket sales and realized we had made a grave mistake. The internet had promised us beaches and many activities in Delphi, and so we had planned three days in the town. The local told us Delphi can fill only a day, and that we needed to go to Santorini, a beautiful island that most people think of when they think of Greece with beautiful white-washed buildings with robin’s egg blue roofs.
Donkeys in Santorini
Not sure why they had to ride a donkey…why would anyone leave this place??i
Unfortunately, we didn’t have it in the itinerary, and now would be going on the word of this stranger. Maria was disappointed, she had seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and thought most of Greece was like that. She would miss the number one reason she came here.
We ended up about three hours in the bus station with our books, trying to plan Santorini and more days in Crete (our next stop) rather than Delphi. It was a little frustrating, trying to travel the country without reliable reviews or suggestions on what to do and where to go. Having a pregnant woman’s bladder, Maria couldn’t hold it and was forever changed and traumatized by the bathroom that charged you to stand in others’ pee to squat over a hole in the ground. “That’ll be 50 cents.”
“Whoa Maria, what happened to you??”
Squat
ii Unintelligible and yet horrifying sound emitting from Maria’s throat
“I’m forever traumatized…I think I’m going to vomit…I have my own and everyone else’s pee all over my feet.” She moaned, leaving to wash her feet with what was left of her water.
That’s another thing about Greece, unlike Rome, where there are free flowing fountains with clean water all over the city, there appears to be no tap water and every restaurant charges you for bottled water instead. Water is expensive. Who knew?
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A beautiful view of the mountains driving into the town. Hmm..don’t see any beaches…
We took the long bus, arrived in Delphi around seven pm, and stopped to get Wi-Fi at the restaurant/bus station.
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Enjoying that we’re traveling at our own pace. Hey! We found an American flag!
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Found a roadside religious icon. Picture moment!
It turned out my travel agent had booked us wrongly, we were supposed to be in Crete that night. So she fixed it, got us a hotel for the night, and the woman greeted us at the hotel was very kind and upgraded our room. We charged up our phones and went out in search of things to do. The woman at the desk was very helpful in helping us schedule this afternoon and the next morning in Delphi so we would be able to see everything since we would need to leave in the early morning to grab the bus back to Athens.
We explored the Museum there, an hour before they were about to close. The few pictures we got was because of a fussy worker there, who did not like the look of us and told us “no phone” and eventually, as we understood it, “no photos”. Strangely enough, he let others take them, and so we tried to be sneakier after that.
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Car keys man? And…rejected by a statue. Gotta step up my game.
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Maria just wanted to hold his hand…too bad….and believed this statue to be possessed. Its eyes followed her, she was convinced.
Onto the Sanctuary of Athena, our first ancient site to visit!
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A beautiful view all around, the mountains and what’s left of the site!
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“I’m actually here!”
On our way to the site, we ended up awkwardly following a man hoping he was going to the sanctuary (or somewhere else important) and ended up introducing ourselves. He was someone from our bus, an Iranian professor named Naeem. He was living in Norway and also loved to travel. He joined us and we wandered the adorable streets of Delphi and went shopping. We hadn’t liked the look of the stores in Athens, but these had a more uniquely Grecian, and adorably small town vibe. We went about picking out souvenirs for ourselves.
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So many little statues I can’t buy because they’re incredibly breakable!
Maria had a hard time deciding on souvenirs since she wouldn’t be able to go to Santorini (a very sore spot Naeem has soon informed all about) she wanted a souvenir from that city.
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“Don’t remind me, Becky, a postcard of Santorini is the closest I’m getting!
We explored all down the main street of the town and went to the end of the restaurants just to head back to the first one we saw next to the bus station. I got a whole fish, eyes and all, and gave Naeem the info on prayers before meals when Maria and I were debating on who should do it for dinner. We had a good discussion about religion, you know, bonding material.
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You don’t think it looks angry at me, do you? I wonder if it’s haunting me…
We went for ice cream afterward, standing on their beautiful deck facing the dark, sparkling ocean and mountain rims, we used a telescope to find the lights of the far off town.
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We hung out in Naeem’s room afterward, talking about culture and how Norway and the United States were different. Maria and I shared with him the frustrations of living in East Texas, where people can be genuinely good people and yet “good-naturedly racist.” We would be disappointed when we had to leave Europe, where most people seemed to be quite open-minded, educated, and diverse, from all different kinds of countries. Coincidentally, we shared a fascination with the music of Hans Zimmer and discussed that despite Maria’s accented yawn beside me.  A woman next door complained of us having a “party” and we called it quits not long after, heading to bed only to wake up seven thirty to make it to the Temple of Apollo the next morning. Before going to bed, we ordered plane tickets to Crete, to avoid wasting a whole day just to travel to our next stop.
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Evidence of my bad-assness. I killed an inhumanely large mosquito to free up the tub for Maria. I’ll be taking applications for next summer as a samurai wielding bodyguard.
Breakfast was an adventure. There was a breathtaking view of the mountains from an outdoor dining area, and so we took our fresh plates and bowls of food out to a table. Unfortunately, I had put some honey in my oatmeal, and we had to spend the better part of our breakfast defending it from bees swooping in from above.
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My coffee had a short life that morning. I accidentally knocked a bee into it. RIP little fellow, I think I might have just accelerated earth’s end by killing you.
The temple was amazing, everything pulled into an awe-inspiring site, not only with the magnificent mountain ranges all around us but the aged rock formations and carved stones beneath our feet and decorating the landscape, warmed by the peeking of the sun.
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And the crowd goes wild!
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Prophesying a storm up in here.
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The stadium wore Maria out even before going through the steps again…
After we stopped at a spring to refill our water bottles, which apparently the locals use to avoid outrageous prices for bottled water, by refilling theirs once a week. I’m glad they let us go first! The Spring of Castalia was where travelers visiting the temples would have to cleanse themselves beforehand, in the healing powers of the water. And to think, we skipped the line!
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Next we headed to the bus stop, bothering the impatient waiter from last night every so often whether this was the stop or not. People who don’t smile creep me out. What’s wrong with them? Are they serial killers, that they can’t have emotions? My attempts to make him smile did not work, so I backed away back to what was hopefully the correct bus stop. Our bus took us back to Athens, where we took a taxi that overcharged us ten euros to the airport. Two taxi drivers fought Maria’s luggage, taking it back and forth from their taxi trunks, yelling at each other in Greek, with us too scared and unnerved to say anything. They were fighting to scam the dumb tourists, I was aware I was being cheated, but not sure how to handle disagreeing. We made it to the airport, where our flight was delayed, and we also had to rush to a different gate. Cheap airlines, you end up paying regardless. Once on the plane, the flight was delayed another twenty minutes, and so I made conversation with Niko, a student studying in Italy who loved Game of Thrones and wanted to know why Americans love guns so much. I shared my ignorance in this fascination.
Americans showering
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We landed in Crete and took a surprisingly cheap bus to our hotel. Once there, we met another Niko, this one looked and spoke like a model and helped us with the hotel switch around. It turned out they gave our room away for the night because they hadn’t received the cancellation for the previous night. He put us in a hotel down the street for just a night for free and gave us suggestions on a place to go for fun, and restaurants. It seemed like the evening would only get better from here. Except for Maria, a weird very drunk British girl in the lobby tried to get us to eat out of her bag of chips, and when we declined, licked Maria’s hand and told her she was pretty. The girl’s boyfriend came to join us, and we headed out of there as fast as we could. Poor Maria.
We put our things away and dressed for a night out. All the good restaurants were past all the nasty bars and strip clubs that had men out in front of them, trying to get us to come in, and using every tactic in the book. They tried to shake your hands, then used the grip they had on it to pull you in and intimidate you with their closeness and try to convince you to come in and have a shot. I walked in my fast paced style which is more of a fast march, but Maria fell behind and probably looked like an easy target because of her short stature. I had to go back to rescue her, and we finally found a nice place to eat.
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A Texas sign in the town of Hersonissos
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Maria and I at our restaurant on the water
After eating dinner we were completely exhausted, I more than Maria, who had fallen asleep on the plane. We forced ourselves to go out anyway, checking out a place called New York Club. We got in for free (wonder why) and bought two Heinekens. We looked around and noticed it was a bit early to be there, despite it being midnight. It was a strange dance place, there were napkins all over the floor and every time the DJ thought you weren’t dancing enough, he blew an air horn and threw more napkins in the air which then landed all around you. I wasn’t sure if this was supposed to liven up the crowd or not. Shouldn’t you throw candy or something?
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Yup, candy would’ve worked better. Less to clean up afterwards.
From there we went to Palm Beach, a club that seemed like a billionaire’s backyard. There was a sparkling pool with a chair area, and a DJ area with huge bottles of liquor and a VIP area nearby. There were so many people that by the end of the night the next person that elbowed me and tried to push past me, I ended up pushing back. Regardless, it was fun, we danced a lot. The men were a little less gentlemanly than guys I had danced with in Dublin. If you don’t know someone, presumably you don’t want their body pressed up against yours. These guys were unaware of that social rule.
Finally Maria and I found a group of nice guys that were willing to just dance, and have a fun time. We got their contact information in case we’d want to hang out again, and had to call an “early night” due to the hour being 2 am. Another early morning the next day, and no sleep. Well, as my sister (and someone famous) says, “You can sleep when you’re dead.”
Summary of Day 2 and 3
1. Iranians can also be Norwegian. Who knew?
2. Santorini is not all of Greece.
3. Don’t believe travel websites.
4. Apparently bees like honey.
5. Shrine water is apparently really cheap.
6. Cabbies love to scam you and fistfight over your luggage.
7. Americans REALLY love guns…seriously, everyone in Europe knows it.
8. Avoid Machis Kritis Street if you don’t like touchy strangers.
9. Above all…never use a bus station toilet. You never have to go THAT badly.
i. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Dir. Ken Kwapis. Pinterest. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Aug. 2016.
ii. Cromwell, Bob. “Greek Toilet Logistics.” Toilet Guru. Apache, Aug. 2016. Web. 16 Aug. 2016.
iii. Beardedrabbit. “How American People Shower.” Reddit. N.p., July 2016. Web. 16 Aug. 2016.

Surviving the Cheeselovers

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Unfortunately, I spent most of the past school year mourning the loss of my wasted summer, a summer with (almost) three months in it that were all spent in Texas. Boring! This was instead of traveling to a new place, as my mission had been for every break I have. I spent the summer mooning over a boy. Not the best use of my time.

I was determined not to repeat the scenario this summer, and so it was that my friend Maria, a pharmacist was left without a new place to visit for the summer, and I, slightly terrified of traveling to Europe alone, said this.

“Why don’t you come to Greece with me?”

“OK!”

I wasn’t expecting to get that response.

But I rolled with it, and because of that I had a proper adventure this summer.

We had a time getting into Dallas, and then making a pit stop. Our friend Nathalie driving us went in an exit only section and just managed to squeeze by a long line of annoyed drivers who pretended they didn’t have room for her to get by.

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If only I knew how much I would struggle with that stupid bag…

We made it to the airport, and a suspicious TSA worker asked if I was eighteen. Considering the fact she was about to have my passport in her hands, I was wry and said, “I’m twenty three ma’am.”

“That was a yes or no question, I don’t need to know you’re 23.” She said sternly, checked my passport and stared at it a moment longer than necessary. She handed it back to me and waved me away, ready to harass more baby faced women. Maria glided through the line without a word.

We had our connection flight in Canada. Before boarding our nearly eight hour flight, Maria and I headed to Starbucks to get a sandwich and a coffee. When my turn came in line, with a rather boring appearing ham sandwich in hand, the cashier took in no doubt my young face. “The sandwich is eleven dollars. Do you still want it?”

Actually I’m a little offended you assumed I can’t afford an eleven dollar sandwich. Just because I was stopped at the security checkpoint and sternly asked if I was old enough to be alone and was told “it’s a yes or no question,”, and am dressed in a DC ensemble shirt with Wonder Woman that Maria went between calling a “Batman” and “Superman” T-shirt doesn’t mean I can’t afford the damn sandwich.

But you know what I did? I didn’t buy the sandwich. I don’t like any kind of lunch meat that much.

One of the not so great things about our first day was struggling with my luggage, the eyes of other people lingering on me while I pulled on the handle which was stubbornly stuck inside and simultaneously kicked the bag. Everything went much smoother for Maria, so I stole the window seat on the international flight to compensate. She was unconcerned, and fell fast asleep with me staring at the dirty line in the ceiling and wondering “is this mold? Do they know this is here?”

One of the definite perks of our flight was dealing with actual babies/children screaming, just like in the movies. I wasn’t sure if I was annoyed or excited to be a part of a stereotype. Our flight was full of snoring men, a trio of exhausted teenagers, opportunist line cutters (seriously? How uncouth of you), the overly romantic couple that couldn’t stop kissing/stroking each other, and the frustrating reality of notifications on your phone with no real result in the end, just reminders of things technology is hiding from you. One thing that you discover about airport Wi-Fi is that it doesn’t actually work most of the time. I love not being able to use my technology…

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And I thought we were tired…

We didn’t sleep much on our eight hour flight. The overly touchy couple were conversing with a loud woman next to them about how much they love cheese (how did they get to this topic of discussion? Did I actually care, or just want them to shut the hell up?). And it was so that when we arrived in Athens at nine AM Maria and I were exhausted and grateful we weren’t allowed sharp things on our flight, otherwise we might have found ourselves poking the cheese lovers.

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We took two trains to arrive at Acropolis, the stop of our hotel, which had an amazing view of the site. The hotel did not want to accept the fact our travel agent had paid for the reservation ahead of time, and insisted on charging my card. Seeing as I had already paid for it, paying my travel agent, I was deservingly miffed and irritated.

We took a short walk from our hotel and found a cute little place where Maria ordered some gyro (she insisted on pronouncing it guy-ro despite my corrections) and I a traditional Greek sandwich. It was just the pick me up we needed after a long night of travel.

It had been an emotional start to our vacation, because when I tried to pull cash from an ATM my card wouldn’t work. I ended up paying 9 euros for a quick international call to Discover to fix it, and then Maria and I took a much needed rest from our day.

Our day had included the oh so sweet nap, checking in issues, money issues, but following the nap was a classy dinner. We were fed excellent food, and plied with free wine and one shot of some kind of licorice flavored liquor.

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Our waiter decided he wanted to be in the shot.

I flirted with the young, cute restaurant worker (it was a family restaurant and he was the nephew) who had called us to the restaurant, and the mother and daughter we were sitting with suggested he take us out. We waited for him to get off of work, then he and the restaurant’s cook drove us by scooter to Why Sleep, a dance club. The ride was exhilarating, more fun than the actual dancing. I could have just continued to ride through the city of Athens all night, with the wind wiping my hair back and giving me that exhilarating feeling. As for my driver, I don’t remember his name, but it’s because it wasn’t a name I already knew, like Kevin. Let’s call him Kevin. Kevin was unfortunately a smoker, as most Greek men seemed to be, and so I planned for that to be my last close interaction with a guy in Greece.

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Of course, we did make sure and ask if they were serial killers first. 

After a good bit of dancing, Maria and I left, and our friend made sure to talk to the taxi driver so he wouldn’t overcharge us, an unfortunately frequent occurrence there. We made our way back and promptly collapsed and fell asleep. It was a full day!

Summary

  1. Get hit on by your waiter. It will end well. VERY well. Not that well, I can tell you’re going there in your line of thinking. I mean he’ll end up driving you through the city of Athens on his scooter, which was more fun than the place he took you before dropping you off at your hotel. Plus, free transit!
  2. Divani Palace Acropolis is a nice hotel with archaic, non-flexible rules, which aren’t a way to do business. If it was paid online, HONOR IT.
  3. Always get euros before you leave for Greece. Way too many places don’t take cards.
  4. Make sure you don’t take faulty luggage. You will struggle with that huge suitcase all over the country and everyone will laugh at you.
  5. If you can, bring ear plugs on flights-to avoid the cheese-lovers

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  1. “Going Home for the Summer Archives – NYU Local.” NYU Local. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Aug. 2016.

Poetry Explorations

I never was very good at the whole poetry thing. That sounds complete inarticulate, but to be honest my talent was always in the emotion driving a plot, and the characters that felt real to others, that were imperfect beings, with no Mary Sues or Pollyannas (though I shamefully admit I loved her as a child). When it came to poetry however, my lack of a sense of rhythm carried over from dance and sounded awful, in my mind.

Last week I visited Dallas with the other new members of the AVID team at my school. I was excited to be attending this year’s AVID Summer Institute. I was given a thick book filled with group activities for my students next year, and an assignment to mimic a poem by Langston Hughes. I couldn’t mimic the poem well enough, if I’m trying to do something like someone else, it will not work. All I could do was base the poem on my own background in a way, twisting facts as needed for the mood that overtook me in my sleep deprived state. The only thing I managed to do was have their required like of ‘dear facilitator’. I wouldn’t have shared it, but I was happy with the dark ending and my table’s reaction, so here it is!

“Tell me about yourself; bleed your life on the page,

Use pretty words and seduce your reader so they will follow you for an age.”

You preach with your finger tsking lately, out with your dimple!

Easily done, my life dissected

Is anything so simple?

Youngest daughter of six, oft rejected,

Born to a loud home in the South.

Now twenty-two, enjoying a quiet life

Amid piles of books and wine down my mouth,

Too quiet, clock ticking and causing strife

Time spent waiting, waiting…for what?

Knocks filled with promise, husband, praise from readers-but!

I am impatient, stubborn, varied

I only wait so long my friend, to be carried

To the future, the future to which I belong

Where my dreams will come true, come strong

This is where you come in, dear facilitator,

My empty ticking classroom and life needs a rehabilitator.

Someone to answer the questions, why why why,

To let me live my dreamed life, and finally to die.”

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I am the only one being fake candid-did I ruin the photo?

Last Night in Vegas

The next day marked our last full day in Vegas. I was feeling nostalgic already, we had breakfast in our hotel to avoid the hunger pains we suffered the earlier day for waiting to eat at Mon Amie Gabby again. We resolved to actually get some shopping done today, we had only gone to the magic shop and LUSH so far. We made our way to Caesar’s Palace and enjoyed the sights before going to the Venetian.

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I was pleasantly surprised by the Venetian, I expected it to be over the top but it actually reminded me of my last summer there in Venice.

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Gondolas!

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It was our last day, so we continued to wander about the beautiful Venetian and enjoy the fact that European decor includes decorated, and/or painted ceilings.  Why can we not bring this into the US?!? We’re ignoring a whole new canvas of design here!

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We ate a sustainable but unremarkable lunch at a little Italian joint in the hotel, and then Camille was stricken with a burning passion for dessert-specifically, Carlo’s Bakery dessert.  I complained that I was already completely full, but she said along the lines of, “…Cake Boss…you don’t have to buy anything…” and I was sold.  I wasn’t quite sure what Cake Boss was.

Dinner!

The line was extraordinarily long, but we were allowed a look into the baking process through a clear window into the kitchen, which served as highly entertaining and another thing to take pictures of.  Enjoy!

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The result for me was a relatively decent strawberry chocolate mousse cake, and a pastry I saved for later (and would eventually eat in Dallas, starved and unhappily awaiting my luggage on a bench looking like a homeless person). Camille may or may have not purchased over $40 worth of pastries.

We made our way then back to the hotel, to briefly nap and dress for the show at the Excalibur that night. Our travel agent had booked the tickets, however it was under her credit card and without the ability to produce it, we were out our tickets. The travel agent very nicely sent us $140 of her own money to compensate for the loss, and so we went shopping of course!

I bought a couple of good things, and tried on a faux white fur jacket that made me look like a rapper’s girlfriend, but alas the picture did not survive the trip back to Texas. Too bad, I could’ve convinced my students I was dating someone famous. That’s how it works, right?

We then went to the Titanic Exhibition, which was very emotional and raw. Upon entering we were handed a ticket each, with a name and a brief description of the person, and were told to look for our person on the wall of those who survived/did not survive at the end.

Tickets to Titanic

Not only were there replicas of the quarters for each class of passenger, but the famous staircase we all know well from the Titanic film. There was also a model deck for us to go on, surrounded by darkness and fake stars. I bumped into Camille like a drunk person and fought my way to the next door-all to recreate the reality of the event of course.

There, in the next room was a small iceberg, with hand prints melted into the sides, for you to actually feel whether you would last in the icy waters of the Atlantic that night. Camille and I quickly grasped, we would have died rather quickly of hypothermia. Brrr!

The actual piece of the Titanic was the most fascinating, considering it was an actual part of the ship that people had to go to so much trouble just to get out of the sea floor. I was determined to touch it, rope railing be damned! Camille was certain I was going to get the both of us arrested so I gave up the not-so-casual leaning over the rope.

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We got to pose with the replica staircase! Isn’t that from a movie…?

We went on to Dick’s Last Resort, where the waiters are supposed to make fun of you and be bitingly sarcastic. Our waitress barely managed writing a mean name on our ticket, that’s about the extent of attention paid to us. We were sat next to an interesting couple; the wife had been sitting on her husband’s lap when we were seated. Once we sat down the wife came over to chat, her husband apologized and said it was her birthday. They were very entertaining, they told us about their jobs as masseuses and their leisure time they spend traveling. They wanted me to add their son on Facebook, he was very cute, and cooks, they had assured me.  I agreed he was cute, but once again, not in Texas. They were very flattering with their life advice:

“What’s there to think about? You’re beautiful!”

Why thank you!

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With a giant green margarita cup in hand, from Dick’s Last Resort we made our way back to our hotel, taking the tram as a cheap alternative to our usual taxi cab. We exited the tram and saw ahead a group of Marines dressed in full formal uniform, medals and all. I may have said “wow,” to my great embarrassment. They stopped and one of them complimented me on my hair.  Why thank you kind sir, I had just been insulted yesterday, I appreciate it! While we made small talk my thoughtful and wonderful sister in law saw the opportunity and blurted out-

“Someone needs to kiss my sister!”

“Right now?” They asked.

“Right now!”

They all started leaning in, “just one” Camille laughed. I went for my complimentary gentleman and gave him a peck. My civic duty right? Then my embarrassment took over and I mumbled, “thanks!” We made our escape, and got back to our hotel room unable to believe our brazenness.

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Then I remembered why I don’t kiss casually, because as Cece from New Girl can attest:

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“Cece: You don’t have one-night stands—you get way too attached. I mean, you could have an emotional connection with a shoe on the side of the road.

Jess: Oh, one shoe? I hate that.”

I wanted to go back out and join our cute Marines and have one last fun night, but joining other interesting people like I did when I was in Europe. We zipped back to the tram, just as the door were shutting. We saw the Marines inside, they had come back for us to! We all reached dramatically back at each other, and the tram pulled them away. Come back Marines!

It wasn’t to be however; just when the tram pulled away Camille got a call about our flight the next day, not at three in the afternoon, but at ten in the morning. That did not sound like we could enjoy anymore late night activities. Goodnight Marines, it was fun!

We made our way back to our room, found a random tiny ketchup bottle in the hotel that someone had left behind that Camille got way too excited about and had to claim, and collapsed into our beds with glittery clothes thrown about the room, and fell fast asleep. Five hours of sleep, no big deal! The next morning we stumbled around not unlike the zombies in the Thriller music video, getting presentable so we would not look hideous on the plane, and seeing how much we could stuff into our bags, knowing full well we had bought too much. We had to leave our Eiffel Tower cup behind, RIP Eiffel Tower cup! You brought such classiness to a simple drink!

We took a very expensive taxi cab to the airport with the driver trying to persuade us to take a more expensive route with us insisting on another one, making it just a bit cheaper. I got a warm holiday Starbucks drink to ease my sniffles and we got on the plane, with me chewing furiously at my aspartame free gum. I don’t know why it’s always so miserable for me to fly, but my ears sometimes refuse to pop and leave me feeling like my head is going to explode.

We finally made it to Dallas, where we had to sit for about half an hour with the same lone five suitcases making their rounds in the baggage claim. It had been too long since we’d eaten, so I mournfully at my last Carlo’s Bakery treat; it was cold, but delicious and we looked exhausted, homeless, and lost sitting there. Finally our luggage made it out and we picked up our bulging bags and left, my brother picked us up twenty minutes later and we were on our way home.

It was definitely worth the mere $200 I spent to go on this trip, I can’t help but feel like I missed out on the “What Happens in Vegas” feeling though, where is my random husband? Maybe next time, for now it was a great experience with my long suffering and wonderful sister in law. Thanks Camille, and thanks Vegas, it was a blast!

Crimes committed while in Vegas: Jaywalking along with huge crowds of other people, skipping the taxi line and stealing one (multiple times), excessive drinking, loitering, public intoxication, public indecency with statues, and public indecency with a crowd of Marines (while in uniform).

The above is a joke. If you are offended remember that school teachers lead very boring lives and it’s fun to joke.

New York, Nevada

The next morning I was amazed at our view of the Strip and the airport, we could watch the planes make their way into the air, one by one while watching the always moving city go about its morning. Mountains loomed in the background of everything, standing majestically tall and making me want to go hiking. Maybe next time, we only had high heels because we’re starry eyed first time independent travelers.

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We dressed as casually as we could (our feet were still suffering from the injustices of walking everywhere the night before, we had obviously made bad shoe choices) and made our way to the Strip. We had a good look about the rest of the street before making our way to the New York section.

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Wait-aren’t we in Vegas…?

Our eyes were inevitably drawn to the promising sight of Hershey’s, and found the largest collection of our favorite candy. I had to take a lot of pictures of that because I knew most of my students would want to see candy, not the Titanic memorabilia we were planning on seeing. I could hear it now, “ugh, so lame Ms. Proffer!”

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I want!!

We stopped by a magic shop and got to see the magic of flying cards and cat in a bag (don’t touch, the sign warned us but it didn’t stop me from wanting to). We wandered the Strip some more, took Snaps of a man drumming quite well on some plain white buckets, and made our way to Caesar’s Palace again to really take a look about the place. Did Caesar really live here?! Apparently they get asked that a lot.

Our room issue (and Camille’s persuasive words and talent) the day before got us $75 resort credit, and so we dressed up again and made our way to Olives, a very classy restaurant in the Bellagio. We were sat next to an Asian family with the most adorable and well behaved daughter who had to sit on her knees to reach her plate. My food was drowned in pesto which is usually a good thing, but not after half the plate has been consumed. So I stole from Camille’s plate and was overwhelmed by the taste of her chicken and the sauce they had with it. Few things have tasted that wonderful.

My pesto meal-2 stars

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We made our way to the casino in Mandalay Bay, after a horrible altercation with a very high and rude man who told me I would be a lot more attractive with longer hair and then proceeded to get handsy with me. Of course I thought of very good comebacks once in safety, but lacked them in the moment.

I bet five dollars in the casino with very disappointing results. I did not win a million dollars, which means I will have very disappointed students who shook hands with me in the bet that if I did win, I would owe every student passing my class $50 (a very large sum to them).

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Maybe next time!

I did get a shout out from a man in suit, asking for my number for his friend.

I never did get that to you, did I? Maybe if you lived in Texas, I do like a man in a suit.

We observed some older couples having a lot more fun than we were (hence some alcohol that was forbidden to Camille). There were some high kicks by the older men with noticeably younger women, is that a Vegas thing?

My cousin back in the Dallas area then began Facetiming us and telling his break up woes amid a cocktail of unwise liquid. Camille told my cousin over the phone to ‘make me go dance with the old people’ at our hotel, and he obliged. So we went back to see if the party was still on. Fortunately for me, it wasn’t, and we returned to our hotel room complaining of foot pain and other ailments. Instead of partying with the elderly couples we took turns taking warm baths with the LUSH bombs we had purchased earlier. I included gold glitter in mine, because why not?

Most of the fun was the posing with the statues in our hotel.  We had a little too much fun with that. Pictures not included for reasons of that we like our jobs. And classy reputations, don’t forget that!

Allons-y!