What Are We Supposed to Do Now?

Everyone has that moment, when they consider what on Earth they are supposed to be doing with their life. It doesn’t matter if you’re a student, a young Millennial waiting for the next life changing moment, or in a daily grind job. I’m not sure what it is that makes us want to be continuous works in progress, but then again, no one wants to be the same forever. We want to become more fabulous!

At the same time, don’t we feel like we made a mistake by growing up?

[i]

The Stress

It was always much easier as a child, we had no real responsibilities; we didn’t have any moments where we doubted ourselves and our choices. As a “full adult” I have money, but am limited in opportunities to spend it on something that isn’t student loans, food, insurance, or gas. I watch my bank balance and try to control the sense of panic in my chest. For me, becoming an adult means waking up at six AM every morning, driving to work and working with a diverse student population, with a variety of issues of their own. Being an adult means grading papers, and if I happen to fall asleep, having a pile silently judge me as I spend some quality time with Netflix. Being an adult means watching your friends get engaged, pregnant, and married with horrible realization coming over you as you realize you have no social life. Being an adult seems to be wondering if there was supposed to be more to this. AND THERE IS!

We’re supposed to be excited about life, we’re supposed to work on ourselves, pursue goals we have, and change as the years go by! We’re young, and if we aren’t, we’re alive at least. We only have one life to live, and we should spend it doing things that make us happy. I’m guiltier than anyone of trying to make others happy and not worrying about my dreams, trying to form them around others so that they can be fulfilled and not have to change anything for me. We’ve got to start living for ourselves, because we’re our biggest asset.

What’s Your Dream?

So what is your dream? What are your talents? What is that one thing you wished you could have pursued but never did because your parents told you to go get a degree/job that was sensible and would pay the bills? Guess what guys – life is always going to be a struggle in some way, and you might as well be doing something you love while you’re at it. I’m an English teacher at a small southern high school and love every moment of it. I went for something that I love. But that doesn’t mean it has to end there. I want to be a writer, polished and published. What do I need to do to accomplish that dream? Take stock of my talents, and look at what I have to do to become better. For me that is an MFA program in Creative Writing. For someone else it might be pursuing online Amazon publishing. Everyone has something out there for them; they just have to be brave enough to try.

What’s It Going to Take?

Maybe you aren’t talented in this area yet. That’s fine; pursue things that will benefit your future and your dreams. If you want to be a writer, read, and write; send articles to blogs, journals, and newspapers. Find an internship that would work with your day job, a way for you to learn the skills you’ll need. If you want to go back to school, join programs to pad up your graduate application, apply for scholarships, proofread and proofread your resume. Set an amount of time to be ready for your next move, whatever that might be. I know it will take me longer than a few weeks to be ready for grad school, so I’m leaving myself a year to write short stories for my portfolio, add group affiliations to my CV, and try to get articles published so that I have a publishing history to discuss.

My point being, if you know what you love, and know what would make you happy, go for it. I had been scared off by adding to my student debt, stalling off an eventual spouse and kids, moving away from my friends and close family. In the end, my family will be here when I get back, I’m too young to settle down, and if I did go my whole life avoiding something I really wanted to do because of student debt, than I need to reevaluate my priorities. As a public servant (teacher) I could get some of that forgiven. Even if I couldn’t, once again, the reality is that we only have one life, and if I never put myself out there and pursue things that make me happy, I won’t have been brave.

As Kathleen Kelly of “You’ve Got Mail” said it, “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave?”[ii] If I haven’t been brave, then I’m not going to have any attachment to the person I become. I have to be strong, as I have been, and continue attempting to be strong and yet vulnerable. I will succeed, not because I have to, but because I want to.

[i] Gob Bluth. Digital image. Reddit. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.

[ii] You’ve Got Mail. Dir. Nora Ephron. Perf. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Warner Brothers, 1998. Transcript.